What is love?

What is love???

I really wanna know the answer to this question. I know it’s different for everyone but I really wanna know what it means to me now.

I have friends that come to me talking abt love stuff asking me if they really love him or just infatuation, my friends come to me sometimes with all sort of problems and usually I can help them see ‘the light’ but whenever it comes to relationship stuff all I can do is lend them a listening ear and I seriously dunno what to tell them and stuff. It’s not that I’ve never been in a relationship, it’s just that I don’t know. I don’t know if I really loved my exs or it’s just cos it felt good having someone caring for me and stuff.

I really freaking don’t know. I don’t know what love is to me. I don’t know and I really really wish to know. It hurts being alone. It hurts lying here in bed typing this out while crying. It hurts not having someone to turn to to talk about all this. Freaking hurts. And I can totally foresee one way of dying for myself, crying myself to death. I don’t cry often. But when I cry, it hurts, hurts as if someone is squeezing my heart, squeezing it tightly wanting it to burst.

I really wish fairytales and happily ever after are real. But I know they aren’t. There will never be a romance or life as perfect as what we read or watch. Freaking ass. What the hell is love? I wanna know. I wanna have an answer to it. I can forgo knowing what’s the purpose of death or why is the sky blue or if ignorance is bliss, why are there so many unhappy people around. I just wanna know what is love. I wanna know what is love to me. I am just freaking tired. Freaking tired of always being ‘okay’ along. Freaking tired of acting. Freaking tired of living too

 

Jun

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